Monday, November 8, 2021

Here we are again...

 Here we are again....

It's November 2021.  I'm in Yosemite again.  What can I say, it's affordable!, although I still feel like I have one foot out the door at all times.  

I came back mid May and ended up supervising Glacier Point.  I definitely felt rusty on the manager front.  But I do know retail....

My Mom and Brother are doing so well in Washington now.  They even moved to a new apartment in a SHAG community.  My Mom sits in the window and looks out onto to world (courtyard) and is really enjoying the light and natural views.  So opposite their last apartment cave...


Here are some things I've written down over the past few months:

*"Don't turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That's where the light enters you." - Rumi

*Know Expectations -(SF)

*"See ya forever Dad" -T-Shoe

*"I'm kinda in love with it. Then I'm like WTF!?" -Laura (she was actually talking about a rug she was thinking about buying, but it so perfectly explains---(me) )

*"...but I think it's important to do things where you don't know what the answer is going to be, because that's where you really learn something." - documentary,  52-Hertz Whale


There has been a lot of writing, some therapy sessions, some work, a lot of driving, a TON of murder shows, tears, fears, music, books, walks, dogs, phone calls, text messages, photos...

contemplation, consideration, exhaustion, wonder, maybe some happiness thrown in there as well.




Wednesday, March 3, 2021

 Today is 3/3/2021.  Covid still running rampant.  Over 500,000 U.S. deaths now.  There is now a vaccine, but getting it is a slow process due to not enough vaccines.  I have hope that my Mom and Brother will be able to get their shots soon.

And speaking of Mom and Brother,  I am currently living with them in Washington to help caretake my Mom.....I've been here since mid December.  

Here are some things I've written over the few months.....I'm not gonna lie, it's been tough, many tears..


12/9/20: I want to believe in the things I believe in.

1/11/21: Epiphanies are the orgasms of the mind.

1/16/21: The conspiracy theory is part of the conspiracy.

Feb 2021: "Hello, My name is....Beck Encall"

2/2/2021: a mile between attentive and I don't know.....

2/9/21: yada yada yada, you killed Dad


Some other thoughts that I did not write:

*I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on, I can't believe you.  Nietzche

*Momentum: the strength or force that something has when it's moving; the strength or force that allows something to continue or to grow stronger or faster as time passes.

* "I hope you find a way to unbreak yourself" tv show "Liar"


I wish my Dad was still alive since he was this Blog's biggest fan :)